There’s been quite a bit of official tat produced in the name of Lucasarts’ sprawling space opera, but at least it all passed basic health and safety regulations. These imported fake Star Wars figures and bootleg toys are such crude appropriations of Phantom Menace characters that just looking at them is a trip to uncanny valley.
Funny Fake Star Wars figures
These are not the Star Wars action figures you’re looking for…”
The Phantom Menace is my favourite Star Wars film… apart from maybe all of the other episodes. 1999 was a different time though, and we were still naïve. People queued up to see the trailer in their hundreds, and boy was that trailer good- complete with blaster fire, Darth Maul’s double-bladed lightsaber, and Jar Jar Binks. What a character.
The film’s release was commemorated with a barrage of merchandise. There was a whole new generation of figures for kids to play with and grown men to collect. However, not all of it was official. Here at Wholesale Clearance we never pass on a product we deem to be below a certain quality threshold. It’s safe to say that these figures do not meet our standards.
So for your entertainment we photographed a selection of bootleg Star Wars toys from our warehouse whose names are almost as mistranslated as their moulds. From the freaky limbs of the Pod Race Droid, to Daft Serious’ vacant stare, these characters are sure to inspire a chuckle, even if the force is not with them.
Darth Maul, the Phantom… Menace?
Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi
The Emperor Darth Sidious
‘Anakin Skywalker, future Darth Vader’
Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi
Sabé, the Handmaid who serves as a decoy for the Queen
No idea who this is.
Jedi Master Mace Windu
Gungan Leader Boss Nass
C3-PO, is that you?
The only one they got spot on…
We think… this is Gasgano the Pod Racer…?
B1 Battle Droid
Naboo Queen Padmé Amidala… with two purple dinner trays
Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn
Ric Olié, who is actually one of Naboo’s Pilots
Our personal favourite, Watto the Junk Dealer
Next we attempted to recreate some terrible scenes from the terrible film with these terrible figures:
What makes a harsh deal for space-parts with Fly-Gone-Gin.
Upright Slug agrees to aid Padme in the battle for Naboo.
Toby-One readies himself to fight Dennis.