{"id":2367,"date":"2016-08-02T10:40:46","date_gmt":"2016-08-02T10:40:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wholesaleclearance.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2367"},"modified":"2016-08-02T10:44:48","modified_gmt":"2016-08-02T10:44:48","slug":"brazillian-phrasebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wholesaleclearance.co.uk\/blog\/brazillian-phrasebook\/","title":{"rendered":"“Would you like help with your Brazillian?”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our booklet blunder with 50,000 tragically inaccurate \u2018unofficial\u2019 language guides for Rio 2016<\/p>\n

\"Algu\u00e9m<\/a>

Algu\u00e9m aqui fala Ingl\u00eas?!?!<\/p><\/div>\n

Here at Wholesale Clearance a large variety of stock makes its way in and out of our warehouse, and the vast majority of it is quality merchandise. Occasionally though, we stumble across something so disastrously unprofessional that we\u2019re left with little choice than to sit back and laugh at our own misfortune. <\/p>\n

Today we\u2019d like to share with our blog a product design disaster that recently graced our stockroom:
\nThe \u2018Unofficial Brazillian Phrase Book For Travel To Major Sporting Events\u2019 by Chinese publishing firm Hao de Fany\u00ed Guides. <\/p>\n

On paper the product sounded great. Unfortunately, that\u2019s all it\u2019s good for: paper. What was advertised as 50,000 orders of \u2018pocket-sized bilingual skills, essential for sport-tourists heading to Brazil\u2019 turned out to be more of a catastrophic failure that England\u2019s recent Icelandic bruising.<\/p>\n

What we thought it was: <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022\tA handy pocket-sized language guide.
\n\u2022\tPrinted and disposable, ideal in a country where smartphones are at risk of theft.
\n\u2022\tSpecifically produced for the \u2018World Sport Cup\u2019, which is a copyright-sensitive way of saying: \u2018Games of the XXXI Olympiad\u2019, or \u2018Rio 2016\u2019.
\n\u2022\tExpertly illustrated throughout with two adorable cartoon squirrels, inferring a professional attempt at a well-designed booklet.
\n\u2022\tPractical sections throughout, including food, travel, emergencies, and sporting phrases. <\/p>\n

\"Unofficial<\/a>

Yep, we have 50,000 of these bad boys.<\/p><\/div>\n

However, what we received was:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022\tTypos throughout, even in the main title.
\n\u2022\tA front cover featuring a football as the sun.
\n\u2022\tTranslations that appear to be broken Spanish, most likely taken straight from software.
\n\u2022\tThe Brazilian flag printed upside-down.
\n\u2022\tHalf-hearted attempts at translations, which seemingly bear no resemblance to Brazilian Portuguese or the equivalent substituted \u2018garbled Spanish\u2019.
\n\u2022\tVery disturbing content for a family friendly guide- including intimate sexual advice in the \u2018relationships\u2019 section, and tips on what to scream during an event of political unrest in the \u2018emergency\u2019 section.
\n\u2022\tWonky layout, low quality paper, and printing errors.
\n\u2022\tHand Gestures advice including how to say \u2018screw you\u2019 just using your hand.
\n\u2022\tCartoon squirrels that may or may not intentionally resemble a crude part of male anatomy.
\n\u2022\tHao de Fanyi Guides\u2019 slogan: \u2018We knowledge you\u2019re tourist good\u2019.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s evident that this English-to-Portuguese was produced by people that spoke neither English, nor Portuguese. Here are the highlights:<\/p>\n

\"Page<\/a>

Page 2 reports a colourful history of political upheaval in Brazil\u2019s past.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"\u201cHOW-lah!<\/a>

\u201cHOW-lah! I am a tourist who speaks American!\u201d<\/p><\/div>\n

\"We<\/a>

We didn\u2019t bring out canoe either. \uf04c<\/p><\/div>\n

\"\u2018Just<\/a>

\u2018Just the tip.\u2019 Might be in the wrong section\u2026<\/p><\/div>\n

\"And<\/a>

And who said romance was dead?!<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Brazil<\/a>

Brazil is a foreign country; they pronounce \u2018Ow!\u2019 as \u2018Ah!\u2019 there.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Emergencies<\/a>

Emergencies include ambulance, fire, hostage situations, and\u2026 dropped ice cream.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"\u2018HOW<\/a>

\u2018HOW MUCH for a hotdog?!\u2019 might well be the most accurate phrase in this guide.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"At<\/a>

At page 19, the person in charge of quality assurance left to go get their glasses from the opticians.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Whoever<\/a>

Whoever was responsible for this page clearly knew very little about sport, language, and squirrel anatomy.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"If<\/a>

If all else fails, give your Olympic hosts a thumbs up.<\/p><\/div>\n

As we\u2019re fortunate to employ a person of Brazilian descent (Hi Jo\u00e3o!), we thought we\u2019d test it out, with a little assistance from Molly, who works in sales here. The results were disastrous:<\/p>\n

\"Jo\u00e3o<\/a>

Jo\u00e3o was offended on national, cultural, sexual, and spiritual levels.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Molly\u2019s<\/a>

Molly\u2019s attempts at the \u2018Brazillian\u2019 tongue sounded like something between Welsh and the noise of a Spanish cat drowning.<\/p><\/div>\n

And again in gif format:<\/p>\n

\"output_LVpvVy\"<\/p>\n

As we couldn\u2019t possibly pass these on to customers, we\u2019ve been busy brainstorming alternative uses:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2022\tDoor stops
\n\u2022\tKindling for the Olympic torch
\n\u2022\tPapier mache
\n\u2022\tA few could be used to balance a wonky table
\n\u2022\tAmmo for a fake snowball fight
\n\u2022\tModern art
\n\u2022\tWe might just post them to our friends across the country who get M&S vouchers from their local council as an incentive for recycling.<\/p>\n

Do let us know in the comments if you can think of any other uses!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"49,999<\/a>

49,999 wonky guides to flush down, 49,999 guides!<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our booklet blunder with 50,000 tragically inaccurate \u2018unofficial\u2019 language guides for Rio 2016 Here at Wholesale Clearance a large variety of stock makes its way in and out of our warehouse, and the vast majority of it is quality merchandise. Occasionally though, we stumble across something so disastrously unprofessional that we\u2019re left with little choice […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2371,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2367","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wholesale-tips-and-guides"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n"Would you like help with your Brazillian?" - Wholesale Clearance UK Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our booklet blunder with 50,000 tragically inaccurate \u2018unofficial\u2019 language guides for Rio 2016 Here at Wholesale Clearance a large variety of stock makes\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wholesaleclearance.co.uk\/blog\/brazillian-phrasebook\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""Would you like help with your Brazillian?" - 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