{"id":2082,"date":"2015-12-08T10:34:49","date_gmt":"2015-12-08T10:34:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wholesaleclearance.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2082"},"modified":"2020-05-07T11:26:43","modified_gmt":"2020-05-07T11:26:43","slug":"attack-of-the-poorly-made-clones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wholesaleclearance.co.uk\/blog\/attack-of-the-poorly-made-clones\/","title":{"rendered":"Attack of the Poorly Made Clones"},"content":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s been quite a bit of official tat produced in the name of Lucasarts sprawling space opera, but at least it all passed basic health and safety regulations. These imported fake Star Wars figures and bootleg toys are such crude appropriations of Phantom Menace characters that just looking at them is a trip to uncanny valley.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"These<\/a>

These are not the Star Wars action figures you\u2019re looking for\u2026\u201d<\/p><\/div>\n

The Phantom Menace is my favourite Star Wars film\u2026 apart from maybe all of the other episodes. 1999 was a different time though, and we were still na\u00efve. People queued up to see the trailer in their hundreds, and boy was that trailer good- complete with blaster fire, Darth Maul\u2019s double-bladed lightsaber, and Jar Jar Binks. What a character.
\nThe film\u2019s release was commemorated with a barrage of merchandise. There was a whole new generation of figures for kids to play with and grown men to collect. However, not all of it was official. Here at Wholesale<\/a> Clearance we never pass on a product we deem to be below a certain quality threshold. It\u2019s safe to say that these figures do not meet our standards.
\nSo for your entertainment we photographed a selection of bootleg Star Wars toys from our warehouse whose names are almost as mistranslated as their moulds. From the freaky limbs of the Pod Race Droid, to Daft Serious\u2019 vacant stare, these characters are sure to inspire a chuckle, even if the force is not with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Darth<\/a>

Darth Maul, the Phantom\u2026 Menace?<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Jedi<\/a>

Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi<\/p><\/div>\n

\"The<\/a>

The Emperor Darth Sidious<\/p><\/div>\n

\"\u2018Anakin<\/a>

\u2018Anakin Skywalker, future Darth Vader\u2019<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Jedi<\/a>

Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Sab\u00e9,<\/a>

Sab\u00e9, the Handmaid who serves as a decoy for the Queen<\/p><\/div>\n

\"No<\/a>

No idea who this is.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Jedi<\/a>

Jedi Master Mace Windu<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Gungan<\/a>

Gungan Leader Boss Nass<\/p><\/div>\n

\"C3-PO,<\/a>

C3-PO, is that you?<\/p><\/div>\n

\"The<\/a>

The only one they got spot on\u2026<\/p><\/div>\n

\"We<\/a>

We think\u2026 this is Gasgano the Pod Racer\u2026?<\/p><\/div>\n

\"B1<\/a>

B1 Battle Droid<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Naboo<\/a>

Naboo Queen Padm\u00e9 Amidala\u2026 with two purple dinner trays<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Jedi<\/a>

Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Ric<\/a>

Ric Oli\u00e9, who is actually one of Naboo\u2019s Pilots<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Our<\/a>

Our personal favourite, Watto the Junk Dealer<\/p><\/div>\n

Next we attempted to recreate some terrible scenes from the terrible film with these terrible figures:<\/p>\n

\"What<\/a>

What makes a harsh deal for space-parts with Fly-Gone-Gin.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Upright<\/a>

Upright Slug agrees to aid Padme in the battle for Naboo.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"Toby-One<\/a>

Toby-One readies himself to fight Dennis.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s been quite a bit of official tat produced in the name of Lucasarts sprawling space opera, but at least it all passed basic health and safety regulations. These imported fake Star Wars figures and bootleg toys are such crude appropriations of Phantom Menace characters that just looking at them is a trip to uncanny […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2083,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2082","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-for-fun"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFunny fake Star Wars figures attack of the poorly made bootleg clones<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fake Star Wars figures toys are just so bad there funny. 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